i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
whose parrot is this?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
