i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think my vagina is haunted
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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