he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What drink are we having for lunch?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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