it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize