I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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