I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
