I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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