you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
