I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize