Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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