they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
