Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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