oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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