thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
