Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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