My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
