Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
