Plan B is the new Plan A
Nicole vs. Life
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
