it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
