The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
