my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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