would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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