I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
