Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize