Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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