Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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