If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
