Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
