You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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