Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
