She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
