he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize