Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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