im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
