I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
