You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
