I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
