I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
