So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
