wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
