): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
