My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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