who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
