they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
