Yo dont text me then not text me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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