i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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