So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
