she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Green mimosas i think yes
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
