TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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