its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
