no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
