ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
