Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
