i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize