Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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