Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
