i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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