I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
